My Grandmother passed away last week after multiple years battling various illnesses. It's never easy to say goodbye to a loved one, but this time...I think because I got to see her over Thanksgiving, say my goodbyes in person and spend some time with her one more time...I don't know I guess the sting was taken out of the inevitability of her passing. I think I got all the sadness out of my system and could only look at it as her...going home to her husband and family who'd gone before her. From what I've been told her passing was very peaceful, and though i wasn't there to see the end result, I can't help but think that when her time came, she went out smiling on the inside. Grandma was strong and stubborn as an elephant, you couldn't make this lady do ANYTHING until she was ready. And the week before, her wayward grandchildren managed to make it back to say their farewells, I guess that was all she was waiting for. Thank you for holding out long enough for me to say goodbye, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself had things been different.
I'll never forget you grandma, how could I? You taught me how to read, or at least were the first person I remember trying to do so. I doubt I would love the written word as much as I do if I hadn't got such an early start. You listened to me when I was being a petulant teenager even though I'd long since grown past the age where I could get away with it, you offered sage wisdom from a bygone era that was just as useful today as it was then, and the day I left home you we shared a farewell that pierced through all the layers of jaded cynicism and touched the little boy who would sprint from his parent's car into your waiting arms all those years ago. My eyes are watering as I type these words, so I guess not all my tears are spent. In a way I welcome them, to know that simply reminising on these moments still strikes such a chord with me lets me know that the woman whose passing I mourn isn't resting in a plot somewhere, but still occupying that space in my heart that she always did.
I needed one last little bit of closure before I try to move on with things, so I'll end it with something simple and heartfelt.
Bye Grandma; I love you, I'll miss you, and I'll never stop trying to make you proud.